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We lost a farm icon over the weekend Doughball our 13-year-old dairy goat. She has been on the decline for several years and it was clear to me on Friday that our time was short.
I lavished her with attention, spoiled her with an apple she voraciously devoured slice by slice and a handful of grain. I lovingly petted her as she tucked her head into her shoulder and fell asleep. I continued to pet her as the tears started to roll down my face. Even now my heart hurts when I write these words. Doughball was an anchor to a time before children when our visions of farm life never included the pitter-patter of human feet. God turns hearts, we were taken hostage by the grace of God and did not even know it. The entire trajectory of our life changed in profound ways. The precious fleeting gift of life. I think about the Epistle of James often, how the half brother of our Lord and Savior could write with such profound humbleness and grace. I am drawn to Chapter 4, where James is providing great council on the landmines of life. I love his writing style, his word usage, his humble wisdom, and his faith. In verses, 13-14 James is reminding us not to bet on tomorrow as its future is unknown to us.
14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.
James 4:14 NKJV
This is a great time to break out the Amplified Version for a little more depth.
Yet you do not know [the least thing] about what may happen tomorrow. What is the nature of your life? You are [really] but a wisp of vapor (a puff of smoke, a mist) that is visible for a little while and then disappears [into thin air].
James 4:14 Amplified
The loss of Doughball stung, but part of that sting was the recognition of just how fast the last 11 years of life have gone. 100 phrases come to mind that are often used to describe the fleeting nature of life, but none describe it better than James as “a vapor” not even fully here, and then gone. That is how the last 11 years feel as I reflect, over 4,000 days filled with incredible highs and deep somber lows, the birth of two precious children, the death of many I deeply loved. This very second, right now, is important and can be used to give thanks to God, our Heavenly Father, who created the heavens and the earth and personally crafted each of us. Whatever you were doing before this second and whatever you do after, take just a moment to pause and thank God for the opportunity to love and serve Him.
Thank you, God, for this day to serve you, to further your Kingdom with my thoughts and actions. Thank you for the stones of remembrance, the beautiful and sometimes hard memories that bind us to Your plan and comfort us in our grief. I am humbled by your mercy and compassion. Great is your faithfulness Lord! -Amen
May the words that flow from me Lord be filled with Your message and when I am obedient may they be backed by the Holy Spirit. When I serve righteously let none of the words, I utter in praise of You fall to the ground. Help me to craft every word, may they pierce hearts and refresh weary souls. This gift is Yours; God I simply aim to use it for your glory. –Love Cortney