0
0
My mind feels like a junk drawer on a trampoline; perhaps a confession is coming because I did something stupid with a junk drawer last week; stay tuned, you never know what I’ll share.
I pray the Holy Spirit refines the words to reach those who need to hear them. The Holy Spirit is our worship leader, I write as a form of worship, so I pray I stop stepping on His toes and let Him lead; forgive me, Jesus!
When I was doing chores this morning, feeding, milking the goats, filling waters, and checking in on all the inhabitants of our farm I was praying and talking to Jesus. I’m guilty of sometimes, scratch that, often keeping my mind so busy with what I must do during the day that I forget to make room to listen. My body just moving through time and space from one task to the next without recognizing the Creator in my movement, my breath, and giving thanks. This morning I tried to be intentional. To listen and not fill my mind with mindless chatter about chores and things I felt obligated to accomplish today like how I needed to publish another devotional when I felt the Lord say, “what are you doing with all my time?” I was immediately convicted, thank you, Lord! It made me think about how fast the days move and how easy it is to shuffle from one task to the next without remembering that every breath we take is an opportunity to give thanks. I have asthma, I take my breath for granted until those moments when I struggle to breathe then everything else falls away, nothing is of higher importance than getting the most out of each shallow breath. The Lord’s breath.
When I got up this morning, was the first thing on my mind gratitude or coffee? Honestly, it was 50/50 but as I dressed for the day the demands of life already awaited me and I started the ritual of life not the ritual of worship. There is a difference isn’t there? I must engage in the ritual of life until my death, but I must choose to make it count, that’s the ritual of worship. I think about Psalms as the perfect example of living the ritual of worship. David and the other writers of Psalms expressed a range of emotions from despair and anger to overflowing gratitude and joy. Isn’t that how we as Christians should spend our time crafting the ritual of life into one seamless ritual of worship?
If you are feeling overwhelmed by that thought if it feels like another thing heaped onto an overflowing plate of responsibilities and your mind shutters “how will I make time for that” oh, I get it. I am not saying to check out from life, but I am thinking about Brother Lawrence in the book, The Practice of the Presence of God. Brother Lawrence found ways to worship scrubbing potatoes. If he can do that, surely, I can find ways to worship at the red light when I am already running late.
Just flip open the book of Psalms, it is not all gratitude and joy. If you think you are hiding your feelings from God, the only one you are fooling is yourself. So why not let him in? Jesus is not just tuning in for the highlight reel of your life, that carefully curated story. He loves you when you lose your temper, please do not hear me saying Jesus loves you TO lose your temper.
Now about that junk drawer, you know the drawer you shove all the things into, charging cables, pens, canning lids, packs of gum…. please tell me you know what a junk drawer is. For the sake of my sanity, I am going to picture you nodding with agreement, if you still do not know what a junk drawer is, hit me up, you can come to visit. I have two! Well, when one or twenty too many items get shoved into a junk drawer or your children dig through it on a treasure hunt, they tend to get jammed and will not fully open or shut. The appropriate response is carefully moving and extracting items until the drawer has gained normal function. Bonus points for purging the junk drawer during this process! I tried moving things, but it did not work and instead of coming back to it, I let my frustration rule and as I sat on the floor in front of the drawer, I started shaking the drawer back and forth, pulling it with a good amount of force. The resisting item gave way the drawer flew open and hit me square in the forehead leaving a painful and embarrassing goose egg that hung around for several days. Remember when I said Jesus loves you even when you lose your temper? It is true, and after conviction and confession I felt peace, not with my actions because they were stupid, but I can rest confidently in the love of my Lord and Savior. I want to spend more time crafting the ritual of life into one seamless ritual of worship and just maybe I’ll stop throwing fits and engaging in fights with my junk drawer. Baby steps. Yes, Lord, your way is better.
Jesus thank you for loving and forgiving a sinner like me, you know my sin rap sheet and you do not only offer forgiveness you declare your righteousness upon me. None are worthy but all who accept you are welcome. What a gift. I can do better Lord. I want to spend more time crafting the ritual of life into one seamless ritual of worship because you are worthy, and I cannot live without you, Jesus. Yes, Lord, your way is better.